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Posted: November 20, 2011 by The Way to Peace
In The Name Of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad the honest and trustworthy. Oh Allah! We have no knowledge except that you taught us; verily you are the All-Knowing the All Wise. Oh Allah! Teach us what is beneficial, let us benefit with what you taught us, and increase our knowledge. Oh Allah! Show us the truth and help us follow it; show us the falsehood and help us to avoid it. Oh Allah! help us to be among those who listen to the good speech and follow its best, and let us enter into your Mercy among your righteous worshippers.
“The best of speech is the Book of Allaah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad. The most evil of things are those which are newly-invented (in religion), and every innovation is a going astray.” (Reported by Muslim and al-Nisaa’i).
Gossiping (Ghibah)
Allah warns us: “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (Quran Sura Al-Hujurat, 49: 12)
As the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed us, backbiting is “to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him: “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said: “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.”
Why do people gossip?
When someone loves to gossip, it is usually for one or more of the following reasons:
Ignorance
Low Self-Confidence
Envy
Boredom/Wasting time
Trying to impress you
Low faith
What to do when people gossip?
Sometimes we feel we have been dragged into it and really want to avoid situations where gossip takes place, and though we really want to do it, we don’t know how toget out of the conversation let alone put a stop to it. Here are some tips to help you out insha’Allah:
1. Praise the person being talked about
Witness your imaan increase up as you defend them as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“whoever defends his brother’s honour, Allah will protect his face from the Fire of the Day of Resurrection.” (Tirmidhi)
There may be that moment just before speaking up in which you hesitate, but muster up some courage: once you get the first few words out, you will feel good about doing the right thing and people will realize that they are engaging in wasteful talk.
Sometimes we feel we have been dragged into it and really want to avoid situations where gossip takes place, and though we really want to do it, we don’t know how toget out of the conversation let alone put a stop to it. Here are some tips to help you out insha’Allah:
1. Praise the person being talked about
Witness your imaan increase up as you defend them as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“whoever defends his brother’s honour, Allah will protect his face from the Fire of the Day of Resurrection.” (Tirmidhi)
There may be that moment just before speaking up in which you hesitate, but muster up some courage: once you get the first few words out, you will feel good about doing the right thing and people will realize that they are engaging in wasteful talk.
2. Invite truth from each other
Though it might be quite an outrageous act at first, you could ask the one who is gossiping to actually come with you and check the truth about what they are saying in the presence of the one they talked about! You don’t really need to go and verify but this is an action which is really part of the Sunnah, for we should prevent lying about one another and tarnishing people’s reputation especially if it is based on rumors.
Though it might be quite an outrageous act at first, you could ask the one who is gossiping to actually come with you and check the truth about what they are saying in the presence of the one they talked about! You don’t really need to go and verify but this is an action which is really part of the Sunnah, for we should prevent lying about one another and tarnishing people’s reputation especially if it is based on rumors.
3. Explain it’s none of your concern
This is probably the hardest part we stumble upon when a group of friends slip into gossip, however we should imply that it‘s none of the gossiper’s business to discuss other people affairs unless it is in a permissible manner. If you can encourage someone to not speak about others badly, then you can also tell them that it does not interest you or is irrelevant to you – instead find a mutual topic of interest to discuss other than people!
Thereafter, Allah, the Exalted, endowed upon His slaves uncountable endowments. Allah said in Sura Ibrahim, Ayah 34: [Should you attempt to count your endowments from Allah, you would be unable.]
This is probably the hardest part we stumble upon when a group of friends slip into gossip, however we should imply that it‘s none of the gossiper’s business to discuss other people affairs unless it is in a permissible manner. If you can encourage someone to not speak about others badly, then you can also tell them that it does not interest you or is irrelevant to you – instead find a mutual topic of interest to discuss other than people!
Thereafter, Allah, the Exalted, endowed upon His slaves uncountable endowments. Allah said in Sura Ibrahim, Ayah 34: [Should you attempt to count your endowments from Allah, you would be unable.]
The tongue is one of many endowments Allah bestowed upon His slaves. Although the tongue is a tiny organ, the person who uses it to comply with the orders of Allah, the teachings of the Qur'an, and the teachings of the Prophet may earn blessings in this world and the in Hereafter. However, the one who uses his tongue in disobedience does not display thankfulness to Allah and leads to his own destruction. Certainly, being thankful to Allah means not using the endowments bestowed by Allah in what is forbidden.
One needs to know the sins of the tongue can be small or enormous. One should be aware some of these sins take the person out of Islam. As what the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said in the hadith related by at-Tirmidhi:
'A person may utter a word he thinks harmless, which results in his falling the depth of seventy (70) years into Hellfire'. This hadith clearly refers to the bottom of Hellfire a place only the blasphemers will reach.
One needs to know the sins of the tongue can be small or enormous. One should be aware some of these sins take the person out of Islam. As what the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said in the hadith related by at-Tirmidhi:
'A person may utter a word he thinks harmless, which results in his falling the depth of seventy (70) years into Hellfire'. This hadith clearly refers to the bottom of Hellfire a place only the blasphemers will reach.
Ibn Abid-Dunyia related the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said:
'One can greatly beautify himself with two habits--good manners and lengthy silence. In this hadith lengthy silence means not speaking except for what is good, such as remembering and praising Allah and teaching others what is good.'
'One can greatly beautify himself with two habits--good manners and lengthy silence. In this hadith lengthy silence means not speaking except for what is good, such as remembering and praising Allah and teaching others what is good.'
Al-Bukhari and Muslim related from the route of Abu Hurayrah, that the Prophet said: 'Let the one who believes in Allah and the Hereafter utter good words, or let him be silent'.
We are responsible for our words. Allah said in Sura al-Isra’, Ayah 36:
[One is responsible for what he hears, sees, and believes.]
At-Tirmidhi narrated a saying of the Prophet to the Companion, Mu^adh Ibn Jabal, in which he responded to Mu^adh by saying:
In this hadith the Prophet answered the question of Mu^adh Ibn Jabal, confirming what makes the people fall into Hellfire on their faces is the reaps of their tongues.
Hence, wisdom entails that one uses his tongue in remembering Allah, performing obedience, ordering the lawful, and forbidding the unlawful. Let us remind ourselves of what Allah said in Sura Qaf, Ayah 18: [Not a word does he utter but there is a sentinel by him, ready (to note it)].
However, it is known that some of these sinful words will be erased if the person repents. On the Day of Judgment wouldn’t each one of us want to have all good words in his record and not those disliked or sinful words?
Thus, it is important to emphasize on matters relating to the tongue. The Prophet advised us in a hadith related by at-Tirmidhi:
'The one who adheres to the lengthy silence (except from that which is good) will be saved on the Day of Judgment.'
We are responsible for our words. Allah said in Sura al-Isra’, Ayah 36:
[One is responsible for what he hears, sees, and believes.]
At-Tirmidhi narrated a saying of the Prophet to the Companion, Mu^adh Ibn Jabal, in which he responded to Mu^adh by saying:
In this hadith the Prophet answered the question of Mu^adh Ibn Jabal, confirming what makes the people fall into Hellfire on their faces is the reaps of their tongues.
Hence, wisdom entails that one uses his tongue in remembering Allah, performing obedience, ordering the lawful, and forbidding the unlawful. Let us remind ourselves of what Allah said in Sura Qaf, Ayah 18: [Not a word does he utter but there is a sentinel by him, ready (to note it)].
However, it is known that some of these sinful words will be erased if the person repents. On the Day of Judgment wouldn’t each one of us want to have all good words in his record and not those disliked or sinful words?
Thus, it is important to emphasize on matters relating to the tongue. The Prophet advised us in a hadith related by at-Tirmidhi:
'The one who adheres to the lengthy silence (except from that which is good) will be saved on the Day of Judgment.'
In another hadith related by al-Bayhaqi, the Prophet said:
'You shall be saved as long as you are silent, for if you speak, it will either be in your favor or stand against you.'
Due to the importance of this subject the scholars of Islam were compelled to write extensively about it. Among the great scholars of Islam is Imam al-Ghazaliyy, who said about the tongue:
"The tongue is a great endowment from Allah; though small in size, its crime is enormous." A person may utter words of praise and thankfulness to Allah for which he earns reward. One might also utter a word that take him out of Islam--thereby loosing the reward of all his previous good deeds. Reported in the texts of the scholars are narrations that highlight significant matters of the tongue.
Among these is what Imam an-Nawawiyy reported:
Qiss Ibn Sa^idah and Aktham Ibn Saifiyy met together. One of them asked the other, "Generally how many errors have you found the sons of Adam commit?" The other replied, "I have counted 8000 such errors, but let it be known, we cannot count them all. However, there is one good trait that would cover up for all of these errors and mistakes: To have control over one’s tongue."
Al Hasan Al Basri said: “A sign that Allah has turned away from a servant is that He makes him busy with matters that are of no concern to him.”
'You shall be saved as long as you are silent, for if you speak, it will either be in your favor or stand against you.'
Due to the importance of this subject the scholars of Islam were compelled to write extensively about it. Among the great scholars of Islam is Imam al-Ghazaliyy, who said about the tongue:
"The tongue is a great endowment from Allah; though small in size, its crime is enormous." A person may utter words of praise and thankfulness to Allah for which he earns reward. One might also utter a word that take him out of Islam--thereby loosing the reward of all his previous good deeds. Reported in the texts of the scholars are narrations that highlight significant matters of the tongue.
Among these is what Imam an-Nawawiyy reported:
Qiss Ibn Sa^idah and Aktham Ibn Saifiyy met together. One of them asked the other, "Generally how many errors have you found the sons of Adam commit?" The other replied, "I have counted 8000 such errors, but let it be known, we cannot count them all. However, there is one good trait that would cover up for all of these errors and mistakes: To have control over one’s tongue."
Al Hasan Al Basri said: “A sign that Allah has turned away from a servant is that He makes him busy with matters that are of no concern to him.”
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